I wasn’t the best student growing up. Traditional classrooms were not an optimal setting for me and proved challenging. I tend to learn by doing something; this is where I can usually pick things up and retain the information.
In college at Loyola Marymount University (LMU) I failed accounting. It’s the first “F” I had ever received. I recently found the probation letter sent to me by the Dean and I decided to share it with my kids.
The family and I had some laughs. At the time however, it wasn’t that funny. I could have easily been kicked out of college, which would have changed the trajectory of my career and probably my life—I likely would not have married my wife who also attended LMU, and had my children.
I hesitated for a moment before showing my kids. While it’s conceivable they look at this and say, “so you’re telling me school isn’t important? You can get bad grades and still be fine?” I am hoping something else resonates with them.
Imperfection.
Earning a GPA under 2.0 is less than ideal. I wasn’t applying myself. I spent years goofing off and not taking my schooling seriously enough. But as a 46 year old, I know that people make mistakes, do things they aren’t proud of, get bad grades, and lose sight of the bigger picture at times. It’s what makes us human. Being imperfect means we deviate from the ideal. And it’s a very important process we go through in our lives, many times over.
Dealing with adversity and being far from perfect provides opportunities for growth. It provides opportunities for learning. It provides opportunities for humility. And I think it’s critical to our development as people.
But, in society we have a problem. We don’t allow our kids to be imperfect anymore. Sadly, if I were applying to colleges today I doubt I’d be accepted to a 4-year program. Our children are competing on a completely different playing field where 4.5 GPAs are the norm. It’s nearly impossible to be accepted into a UC school in California where I live. The expectations and pressures are enormous. We expect perfection.
I recently listened to this Ted Talk by Scott Galloway which addresses some of the issues facing our youth. I encourage you to watch.
“When I applied to UCLA, the admissions rate was 76 percent. Today, it’s nine percent. I received a 2.23 GPA from UCLA. I learned nothing but how to make bongs out of household items and every line from Planet of the Apes. And the greatest public school in the world, Berkeley, decided to let me in with a 2.27 GPA. And that’s what higher ed is about. Higher ed is about taking unremarkable kids and giving them a shot at being remarkable.”
This post is not about trying to dissect the problem(s) and offer solutions—I’ll leave that to the experts.
I’m writing this to my children to let them know that they don’t have to be perfect. They will fail. They will mess up. They will get knocked down. Being imperfect is part of being alive. It’s acceptable and expected. I have. We all have.
I encourage you to make mistakes so you can learn from them and experience your true potential—as imperfect humans, just the way you are supposed to be.
Published: June 9, 2024
Tagged: Writing